Dog Trainer or Victim
Unusual day today. To give you some context for what happened, check out this short (8 sec) video clip from yesterday:
I'm working on Raika's "drive with control". The training scenario is....get dog riled up, wait for her shut up (can be a very long wait), then send for dumbbell. Because Raika particularly enjoys pounding into me on the return, I allowed some of that to release her frustration. Note that I was wearing nylon pants; normally I would wear jeans when doing this kind of work. When I got dressed yesterday, I wasn't thinking about the kind of training I would be doing. And therein lies the root of the problem.
Fast forward 24 hours. Today I had my "women's wellness" exam with a nurse practitioner.
All started out perfectly normal. I got a nice, cheerful nurse practitioner who takes her job seriously - and one of her primary jobs is to distract me with cheerful talk while she does Things Down There. She started by asking what I do for a living.
I train dogs.
Ah! An excellent opening. What exactly do I train them for?
Obedience.
Wow; that's wonderful! That led to a nice little dialogue about how much she appreciates a well trained dog. And being allergic to dogs, she particularly likes dogs that don't jump up, because she's sufficiently allergic that she'll have to change her clothes. Since our total visit time will be about ten minutes at the most, I feel no need to enlighten her as to exactly what kind of obedience training I actually do.
And then she goes silent. Very silent. After a few seconds, she asks me about the scratches and bruises on my thighs. The bruises on my stomach.
Ah, awkward moment. I have led her to believe that I, too, value a well trained dog that does not jump on people. I didn't' actually say that, but I also did not correct her assumptions.
"Well.....those are from my dog."
There are different kinds of silence. The one that ensued was the "I don't believe you" kind.
She approached if from a different direction.
"Gosh, I'm really concerned about this. You have some pretty significant injuries here....I'm worried for you."
Shit shit shit.
Before they go to my house and arrest my husband, I start talking. Sometimes I talk too much, and sometimes not enough. In this case, I didn't really know what to do, but I sure as hell didn't want her calling in the Domestic Violence Crisis Committee.
I explained exactly what I had been doing which caused the scratches and bruises.
"I want my dog to have a faster return while she is holding an object, so I get her as excited as I can, send her to get an object, and then have her run at me full speed. She then leaps into my stomach or wraps her legs around my legs. That is what causes the bruises - her toes. The scratches were caused by her dew claws digging in to my legs so she could hold on better. There are multiple bruises and scratches because we did this multiple times"
I'll admit that even as the words were coming out, I knew they didn't sound too good. Obedience trainer, my ass.
They let me go home. I wonder what it says on my chart. I wonder if I'm going to get a follow up phone call. To be honest, I think it's pretty likely.
57 comments
Just be glad you don’t have to take blood thinners like I do. Even the slightest little bump causes really big, nasty bruises. I have had to explain why I look like I have been beaten too. After explaining it is from my dog training I get the lecture about people on blood thinners should not engage in “contact sports”. I
Yeah, I forgot to mention that “Bravo the Boob Biter” was also my mobility service dog. Gotta love these Belgians that can go from lying quietly for hours doing service dog stuff and then get in the ring and be totally balls to the wall.
Walgreens walk-in clinic :-) Until all docs get all records electronic and on the same system, this still works because Walgreen’s system doesn’t “talk” to the other doc’s systems. I think Walmart and Krogers have the same kind of clinics. Just don’t give them your doctor’s name :-)
I TOTALLY know what you went through. My husband usually takes me to my physical therapy and has since Dazzle was a pup. Those folks “watched him grow up” and I didn’t get any questions about the bite marks, sratches, etc. BUT, when I had to switch to a new place because of a switch in insurance, on the first visit questions were asked of both of us- separately- as the service dog I was blaming laid sleeping by my side! I got the silence and “the look” and so I took off his harness and pulled out a ball and then they believed me! LOL
When I got out my husband was like “What the H—- was THAT all about?!” And I told him it was the scratches and bruises and he said “What scratches and bruises?” LOL They are common enough that he doesn’t even notice them anymore!
I have a similar story about a visit to the nurse practitioner at the clinic when I was in grad school. Just prior to the visit, I’d parked south of campus near a field, as always, and run my dog in the field for half an hour for exercise before leaving her in the car for half a day. On this particular day, she flushed, chased, and then caught a jackrabbit. It took her 3 to 4 laps of the field to actually gain on the jackrabbit. I was running hopelessly behind, and ran breathlessly up to her when she slowed just after she’d caught it so I could ensure she dropped it so she wasn’t ALSO rewarded by getting to eat it. I ran up just as she was giving the poor thing a killing shake. Her “leave it” command was sufficiently good that she dropped the quivering dying thing. I didn’t have a leash on me so shuffled the dog back to the car holding her collar (usually she happily accompanied me, but not with her fresh kill back in the field). By this time I was nearly late for my appointment so I sprintwalked to the clinic and undressed for my exam. I was aware of how sweaty I was and apologized in advance for that to the np. It wasn’t until very late in the exam that she happened to mention the HUGE swath of fresh blood streaked across my face…..
I’m with the others… carry video!